In last night's presentation to Columbia Business School's NYC Alumni Association, executive coach Devon McConnell talked us through ways to identify and eliminate the "shoulds" in our life.
Eliminating the "shoulds"
Have you ever witnessed yourself doing something you didn't enjoy and stopped to ask, "why am I even doing this?" In these moments, we begin to realize that we might be living up to others' expectations. It's critical that we develop our own definition of success and learn to pursue it relentlessly. With coaching, you learn the practice of whittling down where to spend your time, and you slough off the unnecessary areas of your life in order to focus on those that bring you passion, purpose, and fulfillment.
Think of an area of your life that doesn't serve you. Ask yourself why you allow it to take up space in your life. Understand the full drivers behind that action, and if it isn't aligned with what makes you happy, decide to let it go.
Depending on the action and the web of circumstance that’s woven around it, this may not be easy. Your coach will help you outline all the steps necessary to eliminate this part of your life and include ways to manage and secondary and tertiary ramifications that come to light as a result.
In the process of eliminating this area of your life, you'll feel what it means to be truly free.